


You Get Me

by Sonny



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post Season 3, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-07-28
Updated: 2003-07-28
Packaged: 2017-10-13 16:31:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/139347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonny/pseuds/Sonny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Months after Season 3's ending of Michael and Hunter running off in Brian's car; Things have taken on a settled appearance of Brian taking responsibilities where Michael would have been; Just my idea of a... WHAT IF? Brian trying to move on without Michael... while he misses his best friend and tries to deal with his feelings...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> To xof, my mentor, as always my constant inspiration; To the B/M Yahoo Group... for your never ending support and love... this baby's for you; To Kelly/Kinneyluster... let's hope that we can keep motivating one another to be the best at what we are most good at... Here's to our next collaboration!

* * *

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
 **YOU GET ME** _by Michelle Branch_  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
 ** _So I'm a little left of center  
I'm a little out of tune  
Some say I'm paranormal  
So I just bend their spoon  
Who wants to be ordinary  
In a crazy, mixed-up world  
You get me  
When nobody understands  
You come and take the chance, baby  
You get me You look inside my wild mind  
Never knowing what you'll find  
And still you want me all the time  
Yeah, you do  
Yeah, you get me_**  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“We ARE going... and I don’t want to hear another negative word about it!” Justin knew he must have sounded like a bratty twelve-year-old as he paced the apartment, looking for all his schoolwork. Sometimes he wondered if he was speaking while no one bothered listening to what he had to say, especially around Brian these days.

Brian swung from facing the IMAC computer monitor to finally see Justin as he flittered about this morning. “Shit! I didn’t know it would mean so much to you... fuck! Okay... I’ll go!”

“To Deb’s?! For Pasta Night?!” Justin paused at the couch, shoving all his papers in his bag.

“Did I fuckin’ stutter?” Brian frowned at the sheepish grin Justin displayed at having punched the right buttons. “I said I’d go. What more do you want from me?”

“Some fuckin’ gratitude would be nice!”

Brian crossed his arms over his chest. “YOU want to talk to me about gratitude?!” Some days, Brian wondered where Justin got the balls to say the things he did. “That’s a good one... coming from you.” He went back to looking over a legal pad of scratched notes and the view on the screen.

Justin hooked the bag strap across his chest, carrying his artwork portfolio in his hand. “What’s this?” Walking over to the small desk, against the wall, he pointed to the colorful monitor.

“The greatest, most creative and brilliant piece of fiction known to man.” Brian bowed his head, placing a gentle hand over his heart. “My... resume...”

“Cool!” Justin smiled easily, thankful that Brian was finally getting his shit into gear. There was only so long he could live off Ben and Debbie. “Got any interviews set up for today?” He had to admit to being curious to how Brian filled up his days, when he wasn’t around.

Since Stockwell’s defeat at the hands of Brian’s selfless act, the *bad boy* reputation had dissolved. Trouble was, so had most of the clients Brian had thought he gained the respect of. When you were down in the gutter, it was awful to find out who your true friends were.

“One... but it isn’t until later this afternoon.”

“Excellent. You want to meet me at the Liberty Diner for lunch?”

Brian had his back facing Justin, but he felt a chill run down his spine. Someone else used to ask that very same question. The few months of Michael and Hunter on the run... was running thin for Brian’s sanity. “Sure... but I might be late. Em wants to hit the sales this afternoon. I promised Michael I’d take care of certain people while he was gone.”

Justin leaned back on the couch. “Michael’s not here to police you, Brian. Why should you even care?” He wasn’t quite sure of Brian’s motives anymore.

What used to be truth... wasn’t. Everyone was constantly on their toes around Brian. Sensitive to his feelings about Michael’s disappearance. Justin was privy to front row seats, but he was quickly growing tired of dealing with the *drama* of the Brian and Michael Show.

“Ted asked me, too, as well.” Brian spoke the words, as an afterthought, not truly thinking it was important.

“When the hell did you see Ted?” Christ! Justin had class in another half-hour. Why had Brian chosen to drop this bomb?

“Uh... last Thursday... I think. I just had lunch with Em that Wednesday.”

“How come you never told me?”

“Told you what?” Brian shrugged, like the things he was admitting were no big deal. “Besides... you never asked.”

“I saw Emmett later that week and he never said a word.” Justin swallowed nervously, not knowing if this should be a heavy item of information to bother with. “Should I be worried for a different reason?” He hoped the teasing would make Brian smile.

Brian wrinkled his face in utter disillusion. “No need to get your panties in a bind, Sunshine. I save the best part of me... just for you.”

“I’m not so sure that’s enough.” Justin turned away, in frustration, heading toward the front door.

“Huh? What?” Brian had been off in his head as the words mumbled through the apartment.

The door opened to Ben coming through, out of the morning coolness, in a warm track suit. He nearly collided with a loaded down Justin, but he held his hands out to prevent any disaster. “Whoa, there! Should I be warned... you bolting so fast...?” He paced around the young man to head to the kitchen. Ben noticed Brian was still where he had left him an hour ago, in front of the blank computer screen. “Hey, Brian?! Still at it?!” He unzipped his suit jacket, throwing the sweat-drenched material over a kitchen table chair.

Pencil in his mouth, Brian spoke up. “Yup. Usually takes me a few hours to be my most spectacular.”

Ben looked at his wristwatch. “You only have until two to be *spectacular*. Sure that’s enough time?” Pulling open the refrigerator, Ben began taking out some ingredients.

“Ohhh... hardy-har-har, Professor Smarty Pants!”

Justin stood shocked, in the small foyer. “How come Ben knew that and I didn’t?” He glanced at Brian, who had already assumed Justin had left. “Brian?”

“What?”

Ben stood in the kitchen, hands on his hips, not sure he liked Justin’s tone. “It’s been on the calendar for weeks, Justin. And I make it a rule that Brian tells me what his plans are for the week, so I know where he’ll be. Don’t you two talk anymore... besides in the midst of fuckin’ each other’?” Then Ben realized he might be stepping over some boundaries. “Forget it... Can I interest either of you in a protein shake?” He went back to the kitchen counter.

“Brian already had his protein... last night.” Justin supplied with a sly grin, completely absorbed in admiring Ben’s moist, naked muscular chest, and back, moving about the tiny space. GOD! His hands itched to draw that kind of perfection. “You boys behave while I’m gone.” He waved, while shutting the door on his way out.

Ben poured the ingredients in the blender, sending the concoction into a mad swirl. “Brian?”

“Yo!?”

“Sure I can’t make you one?”

“One what?” Brian watched as Ben yanked off the glass container on the blender, holding the brown liquid up for viewing. “Oh... did I refuse before? I can’t recall that you asked me...” Ben glared at Brian. “Sorry, man... my mind was somewhere else. I thought the offer was for Justin.”

Ben had already filled two glasses, carrying them over to Brian. “For anyone, actually. Michael used to...” He shut his eyes, pausing in mid-thought. “Fuck! I’m sorry... old habit...”

Brian was intrigued by Ben’s slip. He shrugged his acceptance. “Happens. Don’t worry. We both knew this wasn’t going to be easy, for either of us.”

Ben drank half his glass contents. “Yeah, well... I thought Mike would at least be home by now.”

Brian took a sip of the drink, oblivious to what he was getting his poor taste buds into. He stopped, looking down at the dark, murky liquid. His cheeks puffed out, like a squirrel hounding nuts. Brian swallowed very slowly. “Got any Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup? Or any flavor of Nestle’s Quick?” He hoped his utter dislike of Ben’s efforts didn’t come across.

Ben sniffled a chuckle, able to stomach the entire shake. He licked his upper lip. “Forgive me.” He made a sign of the *cross*. “Michael said the same thing when he first tried it...” There he went again, opening up some random memory of Michael. Ben turned to take his empty glass to the sink. “Check on the top of the fridge.” He picked up his track suit jacket. “I’m gonna go take a shower.” Ben safely escaped to the bathroom.

Both men tried to rid the air of the awkward feeling between them.

Brian swirled the liquid around, hoping maybe Ben just hadn’t blender-ed the mixture well. This time, Brian took a more tentative taste. The smell was what prevented him from moving on. “God Damn! That shit is fuckin’ nasty!” He carried the glass over to the counter. He found chocolate syrup, then proceeded to squeeze what was left inside. Brian found a spoon and began stirring. If possible, the liquid became darker. Not trusting his lips, he used the spoon to scoop out a small portion.

Christ! How in the hell had Michael stomached this crap every morning?!

Now, the drink was sweet... and nasty! Shit! If Michael could do this, Brian was sure going to put forth a good effort. Laying the spoon down, he completely reserved himself to swallowing the whole shake in one sip. The cusp of the glass was just at the surface of his bottom lip when he noticed a peculiar item on the counter.

A small potted plant rested on the edge of the counter. Brian placed the glass down. He picked up the tiny terra cotta planter, wondering how a plant could flourish, so beautifully, without sunlight, in the dark confines of the kitchen. Probably plastic. When he tested the texture of the leaves and soil, it all felt real. Inside the mini-forest of greenery, Brian found a homemade stake placed into the soil’s center.

In Michael’s clear, bold handwritten words were: **P.S. (** _Proteinious Shakeus_ **) A study in non-gag reflux**

Brian wasn’t sure what to do first. He wanted to laugh, at the little ways he could find Michael around him. In the apartment, in the day to day stuff he did, when he was with Ted or Em, when he was with Debbie and even when he and Ben occupied the same space. He felt the joy, in his heart, at the humor he missed. The ease he felt at laughing spontaneously over some fucked up memory they shared.

Sadly, though, this also made Brian want to cry. He shook his head, slowly, as he watered Michael’s plant. He placed the planter back on it’s matching saucer. Far be it from him to put a crink in Michael’s daily morning routine.

Ben chose that moment to exit the bathroom. A towel wrapped around his waist as he marched to the bedroom he shared with Michael.

Whew! Brian was safe. Shoving the plant back into the corner of counter, Brian carried the empty glass to the sink. What Ben didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

One door was left open, so Ben could carry on a discussion with Brian, still getting dressed without fearing he was showing his naked ass to the world. Brian had already seen what he had.

“Brian... you still plan on picking Gus up at the day care?”

Brian scratched at his nose as he picked up the legal pad of his notes for his new, updated resume. “Yeah, I’ll be getting out of my interview some time around three. I’m hoping that will give me enough time to head on over to get Gus and bring him to the Merry Munchers.”

Ben popped around the open doorway, fixing his cuffs. “How long has Mel been on maternity leave now?”

“Two weeks. That place is a nuthouse.” Brian cackled at the description of Melanie and Lindsay’s once happy home. “But it’s a... really good kind of craziness.” He didn’t know how to admit to anyone how well he and Melanie were getting along. Michael had asked, in desperation, for Brian to watch out for his child. That meant watching Melanie’s every move, which wasn’t easy. Especially when she got into one of her moods.

“Is she big?” Ben scrunched up his face, wondering if pregnant lesbians worried about their figures as much as pregnant straight women. It was really a stupid thought. They were STILL women, no matter their sexual preference. Ben shook his head. “I just haven’t found the time to visit Mel. I know Michael had asked me. I’m just not comfortable around those kind of situations.”

Brian liked finding a chink in Ben’s perfect armor. Something he was good at... better then Saint Benjamin. Why didn’t Brian know a good jig, when it was needed? “She’s finally showing. Got this adorable beer gut. She hates it when I tease her about it. It’s very sensitive to touch, though. Mel’s in nothing but sweats... or anything with elastic.” Brian was about to go on, telling a story from the other day when he was helping Mel around the house, but he didn’t really think Ben wanted to know.

Ben smirked as he finished dressing. “You’re really getting a kick out of this... being Mr. Nanny for them? Being their housekeeper? Cooking their meals for them?”

Brian didn’t want Ben to know how much he really enjoyed spending time with Gus and getting to reintroduce himself to Melanie. Mostly, he was finding how easily it was to love Michael’s unborn child. He’d missed out on this step when Gus was still inside Lindsay. Those were different days. Brian was a changed man... or at least he hoped. “I’m just a well-rounded individual, Ben.”

Slinging his backpack over his shoulder, Ben upended his bike’s kick stand. “Yeah... be sure you put that in your resume.” Ben opened the front door, then he remembered what he needed to ask Brian. “You going tomorrow night?”

“What’s tomorrow night?” Brian was confused, or maybe he was too focused on the blurring screen.

“Deb’s... Pasta night... didn’t Justin tell you...?”

“Oh, yeah... I’ll try to be there. Mel’s got her Lamaze class at six that evening. I could talk her into coming over. I’m sure she’ll enjoy getting out a bit.”

“Does Justin know?” Ben was halfway out the door, when he realized how much Brian wasn’t telling his... uh, boyfriend, much of anything. What the hell did they talk about when they were alone? They didn’t just fuck like bunnies... well, wait, if last night was any indication... as well as a few nights ago...

The point was moot, really.

“Know what?” Brian squinted his eyes at Ben to understand what he was getting at.

“Never mind. Good luck at your interview.”

“Thanks, man.”

The front door shut on Brian staring at the empty page on the monitor, hoping for a fucking brain cluster of brilliance.

After so many years of selling product after product, Brian wondered if he still had it in him to sell himself to the highest bidder. Fuck, he’d even take the lowest bidder.

Some kind of stimulating work to take his mind off of Michael.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Twenty minutes into shopping with Emmett... Brian pulled out his cell phone after the second ring. He recognized the number on the LCD screen. “Hey, sweetie... how’s it goin’?” He used the softer tone that made Emmett stare at him as he rifled through a rack of clothes. He was helping carry Emmett’s purchases.

Emmett was interested in who Brian would call *sweetie* using that particular tone. Everywhere he went, Brian trailed behind him. It was kind of cute, in a puppy dog way.

“Bri?” The muffled sniffles were sandwiched between the blowing of the nose.

“I’m here, Mel.” The hormonal roller coaster Melanie was on was old hat for Brian to handle. “Is there anything you need?”

“Have I told you, lately, how grateful I am for your help? That I love you... Lindsay loves you... Gus loves you...”

“Yesterday, hon. Said it right before you went to bed.”

“Really? Are you sure? ‘Cause I don’t remember... and I was sittin’ here watchin’ the stupid daytime soaps and this commercial came on and it just fuckin’.... *KA-BLANG-O* hit me, what you have given up for me and Linds.”

“I’m helping out because I want to, Mel. No other reason.” Brian made motions to Emmett, showing that Melanie was just ramblin’ on with her words.

Emmett did a silent mime, telling Brian he was taking some clothing into the changing room. He blew a kiss, he knew would make Brian blush.

“I know Michael asked you to watch out for his child.... which means that you have to take care of me, but you’re doing so much more then you were asked. I think it’s so unselfish of you to spare the time for us. I don’t know where we would be without you, Brian. Strange to hear myself say that, when a few years ago I was cursing the day you were born.” That began another fit of emotional tears. “I’m so sorry, Bri... I didn’t really mean those things I said to you... or the things I said, or did, behind your back. You’re so good to me... and Gus. We’ve both never been happier. Linds is even getting a promotion at the art gallery, since she gets to have so much time at work.”

Brian rolled his eyes, wishing Melanie’s train of thought would derail soon. “Was there a reason you called, Mel?”

Emmett came out to model his new pants, with his sweater. He made sure to *work* the short runway. Playing off Brian, touching him in some idiotic way that was ticklish, making him chuckle into the phone.

“Where are you, Brian?”

Brian looked over his shoulder at Emmett. “Shopping... with Em.” He covered the phone to speak to Emmett. “Beautiful, man. You’d be a fool not to buy those pants. They fuckin’ rock on you!”

“Why... thank you, Brian. Hi! Hon-nee!” Emmett said as loudly as he could and waved to the phone, like Melanie could see him. He sauntered off, swaying his hips back into the dressing room to change into another outfit.

“Shopping? Any plans on hitting a supermarket?”

“I don’t know. Hadn’t planned on it. I could head there after I pick Gus up. Why... do you need anything?” Brian should have known better then to ask a pregnant woman that kind of loaded question.

“Peanut butter... extra crunchy... celery... some blue cheese dip... Oooo, and get me those little cookies that they mimic the tops of cupcakes after... strawberry and blueberry glazed doughnuts... oh, and some fudge ripple and mint chocolate ice cream... Do you have a pen, Brian? This is a lot to remember.”

“I got it. Don’t worry. Anything else?”

Melanie put some serious thought into her head. “Oh... my God!”

“What?!” Suddenly Brian’s heart sped up. Was Melanie feeling the baby move? Was she getting sick? Could he really feel good about ditching on Emmett?

“Today is your interview.”

Brian released the breath he’d been holding. “Yeah.”

“Two, right?”

“Yeah?” Brian wondered if she wanted him to do something for her around that time.

“Oh, Brian... and here I am going on and on. You probably wanted to chill with Em and just relax before... Are you nervous?”

“Nah...”

“Good, because they’d be fools NOT to think you were the best decision they made for their company this year.” Sounded like the old Rough-N-Tough Melanie was back. “Look, don’t worry about my stupid grocery list. I’m not gonna die without this stuff for one day. Concentrate on YOU today.”

“Thanks, Mel.”

“Anytime, Bri. Good luck. Bye.”

“Bye. I’ll see you.” Brian rang off as Emmett walked out in his second ensemble outfit. “Em? Shit! Where did Em go?” He walked up to a confused Emmett, looking him square in the eye. “Look, have you seen my friend Emmett? Tall guy... blondish hair... nice muscular build” Brian put a shocked hand to his mouth. “Emmy? Honey... is that you? I thought you were some famous, gorgeous male model!”

Emmett proceeded to smack Brian... on his shoulder... on his biceps... on his back. “God! Don’t do that to me! I swear you make me wanna kiss you, when you say that kind of stuff. And sweetie... I love you, but I am single and ready to go back to the club/party scene. I’m tired of looking like Frumpy Flo. I wanna be...”

“A Sex God?”

“Goddess!” Emmett posed in front of the mirror. “Why didn’t we ever do this before, Brian?”

“What? Talk?”

“No, silly... not that we had to shop, but this time of being together...” Emmett looked in the mirror, shrugging as he looked at himself. He seemed to be slipping back into a past memory. He was nearly getting emotional, moisture filling his eyes as he got choked up.

Sighing heavily, wishing he could express himself as freely as Emmett did, Brian stepped up behind Emmett at the mirror. He wrapped his arms around his new, old friend, placing his chin at the padded shoulder. Emmett’s hands came up to clutch Brian’s to his heart. “It’s okay to miss him, Em. And you don’t have to feel ashamed, or embarrassed, to say his name around me. I miss him, just as much, if not more.” He pressed a kiss to Emmett’s temple. “We all thought he’d be gone for only a little while... until the smoke cleared, but...”

Emmett stared at those beautiful hazel eyes, looking so solemn. “You’re afraid he’s running away for another reason.” At Brian’s slow nod, Emmett tsked and reached up a tender hand to caress Brian’s cheek. “Oh, baby... I’m so sorry.”

“For what? There’s nothing you could have done to stop Michael. He made up his mind.”

“But...” Emmett could feel Brian wanting to pull away, so he kept a hold on him. “... like you said, he’s staying away because of something else. He thinks we’re upset with him... or maybe he feels what he did is shameful and selfish... thinking he could protect a child like Hunter.”

“Michael’s got a big fuckin’ heart.” Brian finally managed to pull away from Emmett’s hold, knowing that one second more would have made him crumble to pieces.

Emmett came up to touch Brian’s jacket lapel. “You know... you haven’t called him *Mikey* in months.” He saw how much this disturbed Brian, so he let the subject go. “I can think of someone else who’s running in close competition...” He looked Brian over in his casual jeans and button down shirt. “What are you planning to wear to your interview?”

Brian shrugged as he thought about what he hadn’t sold to pay for those Stockwell ads. “A few dress pants, shirts like this... oh and a suit of Jack’s I saved after the funeral.”

“Ecch! Some polyester blend nightmare! No, no, no, no! This won’t do! We are stopping to get you a new suit. My treat!” Emmett grabbed Brian’s head as he was about to decline the offer. Emmett shut him up by squeezing his face, causing his lips to pucker of their own will. “I won’t take no for an answer, Kinney. You deserve this, for what you’ve given up of yourself... for your, dare I say it out loud and proud... friends.” Placing a kiss on those pursed lips, Emmett let Brian go to head back into the dressing room with a renewed energy.

Brian was left, alone, standing in the middle of the store, thinking about what Emmett just said, wondering if HE, himself, wasn’t one of the reasons for Michael disappearing for so long.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brian had to cut the interview short. Melanie’s call came to him, making him aware that Gus needed to be picked up, immediately. Something he had eaten was giving his tummy a run for it’s money.

All Brian knew was that he hadn’t really been much into the interview. The owners continued to question his methods, wondering why he had chosen to do certain ads this way, not the other, more *commercial friendly* way. He knew, from minute one, that the job wasn’t for him. A tiny niggling that climbing this corporate ladder would only give him more headaches then it was worth.

So he told them, straight from the hip, that their first impressions of him would be their deciding factor. He wasn’t about ready to jump through hoops for a job that was going to make him feel like second, or third, choice. They either wanted him, or they didn’t, simple as that.

Melanie’s call couldn’t have come at a better time.

Brian was standing outside the office building, making his way toward the burgundy mini-van. “Look, Mel... I still need to do that little bit of grocery shopping for you, plus pick up some fixin’s for dinner.”

“Ooo... what are you thinking?”

“Fish or chicken. Depends on what’s cheap and fresh in the Deli. Do you think those cronies would mind watching Gus for another... say, twenty-five minutes? Or will they call the cops on us?” Brian glanced at his watch, comparing it with the mini-van’s clock. He threw his briefcase in the passenger seat. He had already forgotten the interview. Moving on...

“I think we’ve got a safety window of a half-hour, before they might call me again. I’m sorry I had to bother you during your...”

“Think nothing of it. It was a bust.”

“Okay, so... we’ll talk about it over dinner. Be careful, Brian. There’s a lot of crazy drivers out there.” Melanie sounded like she was hefting some large boxes.

“Where are you? What are you doing?” Brian started the ignition, turning on the heat.

“I just made it downstairs. Christ almighty! Is it a fuckin’ crime to walk around in my own house? I’m getting the fuckin’ mail, like a normal fuckin’ person. Is that a fuckin’ problem?”

THERE was the mood change!

Brian discovered she was almost like clockwork. Morning, she was sweet and loving... by the afternoon, after being cooped up in her bedroom... Melanie came out with her potty mouth and claws. “Nope.” Brian knew how to handle her when she got this cranky. “I’ll see you in forty-five minutes. You can time me, if you want.” He clicked off, pocketing the phone as he backed out of his parking space.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Where is he?” Brian unwrapped the long scarf around his neck as he came through the daycare’s doorway.

“Mr. Kinney... thank you for coming so soon.”

“Not a problem.”

The reed thin, long-haired blond girl gestured over to a small couch, against the wall, near the play room. “Gus has just been sleeping off a little of the nausea. He hasn’t thrown up... yet, but he’s quite warm. We took his temperature, about ten minutes ago. It was slightly above normal. I don’t know what else to tell you.”

“Thanks.” Brian gave the young woman a tiny grin, hoping she didn’t think he was rude as he quickly made his way over to where Gus lay. Kneeling down to the low leveled cushions, Brian reached out to caress Gus’ back, facing him. “Hey, Little Guy. Daddy’s here.” The magic words made Gus roll over, with his arms opening to grab a hold of Brian’s neck, never wanting to let go. He could feel the flushed, heated skin against his own. “Whoa! Someone’s on fire! We’re goin’ home, Sonnyboy. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Brian chuckled at the frantic nod against his chin. Holding Gus to his chest, Brian looked around the day care room, wondering where all of his son’s stuff was. Gus had been laying on his light jacket. The small, yellow and gray knapsack sat near one of the low tables. He bent to pick that up as he waved good bye to the women. “Mommy Mel is home and just going to be so glad that your coming back early. She’s got a lot of things planned for you two. And... hey... I’m gonna be there... that’s kind a cool, too... right?” He tried to dig the key ring out of his pocket, jangling them to find the right one.

Not really having much time to put Gus’ jacket on, Brian just threw the material over the light brown mop of hair, receiving a tiny giggle underneath.

Gus’ little fists grabbed the jacket to hold over his head, as Brian opened the sliding door to place him in his car seat. Gus sat, respectfully quiet, as he watched his father follow the tedious ritual of chaining him safely to the plush seats. He was slightly chilled by the cool breeze, using his jacket as a pseudo-blanket. The familiar hazel gaze roamed over to look through the front windshield of the mini-van. Caught between a slight giddy feeling of going home and half asleep, Gus’ eyes widened in shock.

“MIKEY!” That was all Gus said. He reached out a hand to point toward the vision.

Brian cracked his head on the roof as he tried to drag himself out in time. It couldn’t be! He wasn’t prepared! He wasn’t ready, yet!

Wincing in slight pain, he watched a dark-haired father, with Michael’s similar build, exit the day care with a child in his arms and a toddler by his side. Whew! Brian’s heart had to catch up with his breathing as he returned to finish securing Gus in. “Nah, bug. That’s not Mikey! Just another Daddy! Silly goose!” Brian played off the ball of heightened frustration building in him as he rifled a hand through Gus’ hair. He wanted to be sure Gus was oblivious to what that one word had done to him. Brian listened to Gus’ giggles as he slid the door shut, leaning back on the cold metal to collect his jumbled emotions. Shaking his head at the lunacy of it all, Brian climbed into the driver’s seat, slipping the key into the ignition. “Daddy’s gotta stop at the supermarket to get Mommy Mel some things. You wanna come too, Gus?” He hoped his shaking hands calmed down along the way.

“SUPER!” Gus put up his tuckered little arms as if saying, “Up! Up! And away!”.

Brian half-smirked at watching Gus, in the review mirror, as he backed out of the parking space. Turning his torso to watch for traffic behind him, Brian was grateful that the lone tear, that did fall, came out of his left eye, down his left cheek and splattered on the lapel of his coat.

Gus never saw a thing, through all of his Daddy’s easy chatter, smiles and goofy faces.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Melanie was on the prowl for Brian as he pulled up in the driveway.

Brian had put the gear in park, when Melanie moved to work the sliding door to retrieve Gus. “And HELLO to you, too, honey!” He slammed the driver door, looking at her frantic movements. “They were able to reattach his right arm, as best they could, but it’s that large hump on his back that truly worried them.”

Melanie had barely paid Brian any attention. “Wha-?” She was trying to work all the special loops and mechanisms. “What the fuck are you talkin’ about?”

Brian popped his head around Melanie’s to show Gus to cover his ears. Gus nodded, giggling loudly as Melanie kept tugging, pulling and accidently tickling his sides. “Look, he’s fine, Mel. A slight tummy ache. I let him sip some ginger ale as we shopped. Nothin’ to fret over.” He grabbed her shoulder to pull her back. “Let me free the poor little guy. Do something constructive with yourself. There are a few bags in the back that may appease that hormonal beast within you.” Brian was able to release Gus in short time, while Melanie made tiny grunting and growling noises as she peeked inside each of the bags. “Am I forgiven?”

Melanie looked at Brian oddly. “Why? What did you do?”

Brian shrugged, unsure of where Melanie was at, in this stage of her mood swings. “I really don’t know. I’m just checkin’.” He shut the mini-van’s rear hatch. He handed Gus the little bag that carried his tummy medicine, with another ginger ale. Brian picked up the rest of what Melanie had ignored. He followed her cute waddling butt up the sidewalk and through the back door into the kitchen. Gus helped prevent the screen door from slamming in their faces. “Thanks, bud! Have you lost weight, Mel?”

“What? Are you fuckin’ blind?!” Melanie yelled as she turned on Brian, who placed a hand over one of Gus’ ears, as a wide-eyed Gus covered his other exposed innocent ear. “I’m sorry.” The defeated sigh made her plop down all the bags she had carried. “I’m a tragic mess!” Melanie wiped a hand over her naked, puffy face, trying to make her wispy hair look presentable.

Brian dipped his head to whisper in his son’s ear. “Tell Mommy Mel she looks sexy.”

“Brian!” Melanie blushed at the comment, trying to hit him on the arm.

“ ‘exy!” Gus growled out as he watched his Daddy try to avoid Melanie swatting at him. He giggled at their goofiness. Suddenly, his tummy wasn’t hurting so badly.

When Melanie thought she had a good shot at Brian’s biceps. She grabbed on as he twirled her under his arm pit. He tugged her close so she could see Gus for herself. “Look, Mel... our son is alive and well. See... no need to worry.”

Melanie wiped away foolish tears as she leaned toward Gus, kissing his puny puckered lips, he offered down to her. “Thank you, baby. Love you, Gus.” She swiped for his little hand to press another kiss to his soft, delicate skin.

“You okay, now?” Brian smiled down at Melanie.

“Couldn’t be better?” Melanie stood on tip toe to gently kiss Brian’s cheek. “How about you? The interview...”

“Oh... egh!...” Brian made a *so-so* hand gesture as Melanie began to rub his back in a soothing manner.

“That great, huh?” Melanie smirked up at Brian, but caught a weird glint, in his eye, that spoke of something else. “Sure that’s it, Brian?”

Brian nodded his head, but as he went to inhale, his throat choked on his next breath. “Oh, shit! Can you take Gus?” Sliding out of his coat, throwing it on a kitchen chair, Brian quickly left the room.

“Brian... honey...” Melanie tried to stop Brian from his hurried exit. She walked toward the living room, putting Gus down next to his toy bin. “Behave.” She stepped away to listen closely to where Brian may have disappeared. “Brian?” Melanie found him in the laundry room. Suit jacket was thrown over the top of the washer lid. Brian was sniffling, wiping at his face, every once-n-awhile. “Sweetie... what happened?” Her hand almost reached out to touch Brian’s slouched back, but she quickly snatched it, when he suddenly moved.

Brian was unloading the washer items into the dryer. Trying to keep himself busy. “Next time... if you’re doin’ a load of just whites... it won’t hurt to throw in an extra bit of bleach. Cuts down the discoloring.”

“Thanks for the helpful hint, Heloise. You wanna tell me what’s got you spooked so bad?” Melanie leaned back against the wall, watching Brian hop up on the dryer.

“I hit maximum overload.”

Melanie moved to begin the next load of dirty clothes for the washer. She wanted Brian to know he was in safe company. “About Michael?”

“When is it ever NOT about Michael?”

“What triggered it this time?”

“Gus saw a man, looked like Michael, coming out of the day care. Just fuckin’ unnerved me.” Brian wiped at his eyes as he passed the laundry soap and measuring cup to Melanie.

“Why don’t you call him, Brian.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’m a fuckin’ coward.”

Melanie laughed, turning the dial to start the water cycle as she closed the lid. She draped Brian’s suit jacket over her arm. “That is such bullshit.”

“Well... it’s the truth, but it’s not the real reason.” Brian bowed his head, almost afraid to admit what he’d done to himself. He glanced over at Melanie’s tender clasp of his knee. He placed his hand over hers. “He made me agree... made me promise not to call him anymore. Said it hurt too much to talk... to me.”

“Oh, Brian.” Melanie found herself cupping Brian’s cheek. “Why didn’t you tell any of us? For how long?”

“Too many questions. Especially from Debbie. I can’t talk to her without her blabbering about Michael’s calls. She speaks to me like I know the same information, but I’m usually hearing it for the first time. I haven’t talked to him... in over a month.” Brian laughed weakly as he pushed out a half-smile.

“How do you do it? Keep from tellin’ her to shut the fuck up?!”

“I take it, because it’s nothing less then what I deserve.”

Melanie shook her head at what she’d known had been one of her big faults. Never cutting Brian any slack, not giving him the benefit of doubt. “I know I have been one of the guilty parties who makes you feel that way. I’m here to say... no one deserves to be punished like that. Who does Michael think he is?”

Brian crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back. “He’s your child’s father, Mel... who just so happens to be my god damn best friend. Fuckin’ knows me better then anyone on this planet. So... watch what you call him, in front of me.”

“Doesn’t exclude him from acting like an asshole.”

Brian jumped down from the dryer, carrying a complete basket of laundry with him to fold. Melanie trailed behind, bypassing to check on Gus, who had managed to busy himself. “I've got boneless chicken strips, Mel!” He yelled loud enough for her to hear. He put the basket in an empty chair. He began opening cabinet doors, in search of the right pan. “I thought about stir fry for dinner!” Brian found he didn’t have to yell any longer, since she walked into the kitchen. “That sound good?”

“Sounds very good. Tell me what I need to do to help you.” Melanie rubbed her hands together in anticipation. She was pleased to finally have company, even if it was Brian Kinney.

“You can start by putting away all that junk food you forced me to buy, that you carelessly threw on the floor. I would put the stuff away, for you, but I wasn’t sure where you’re putting your pig trough this week.”

“Ooo... Brian!” Melanie found the nearest object to wack Brian with. She swatted him on the behind with a wayward broom.

“Hey! Watch it! I’m cuttin’ fresh veggies here!” The first time, she hit her mark. Brian planned to out maneuver her, on the second, and third time. He managed to yank and tug the broom out of her hands.

“They ain’t the only things that are fresh!” Melanie chuckled as she waddled, running for safety as Brian chased her around the kitchen... and through the house.

Oddly enough, what would have taken Brian only twenty minutes... ended up taking nearly an hour and ten minutes. He didn’t mind the delay.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Lindsay walked through the doorway of her nice, quiet home, she turned to lean back on the front door. Blissfully happy to be safe-n-sound, she heard the yelling, two minutes into the supposed silence.

“Bullshit!”

“Can’t prove it, you pansy ass faggot!”

“Hey... at least I’m not a slave to the *pussy*, like some... lesbian... looossseeerrr... that I know.”

“Take that back!”

“Never!”

Straightening her clothes, Lindsay paced quickly to the back room, where the raised voices were coming from. She had no idea what she’d have to do to separate Brian and Melanie... this time. What she stormed in on was something completely different, then what she thought.

“Can... you... smell... what... THE Honeycutt... is... cookin’?!!” Emmett proceeded to stand as he moved his controller to beat the ever-livin’ shit out of Melanie on the Play Station game.

“Em... please, could you stop sayin’ that? How many more times will I have to hear that crap?!” Melanie threw her controller, watching her Pro-Wrestling character crumble to the mat.

Emmett demurely took his seat as he gently placed his controller on the coffee table. “Oh... I don’t know... Mel... EVERY... time I kick your sweet bubble butt into oblivion! Woo-Hoo!” He did an audience-of-one cheer. “Hey, Linds!”

“Em... Mel... Someone mind telling me where my son is?” Lindsay tried to hide her fear, behind a plastic smile.

Emmett and Melanie looked at each other, before Emmett decided to answer for both of them. “Brian’s here, Linds. He wanted to give Gus his bath, then put him to bed.” He glanced at his wrist watch. “You didn’t happen to see a cute blond boy waiting for me out there?”

Lindsay’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “Justin? No... haven’t seen him.” She wondered how many other people were gonna show up at her house. “Boys night out?”

Emmett shrugged, unsure of what he should call *going out* anymore, without Michael or Teddy in the mix. “Justin and I were just gonna hit Babylon tonight. No biggie.”

“Brian going, too?” Lindsay asked out of genuine curiosity.

“Uh... well,... “ Emmett didn’t know how to respond.

Melanie cranked herself out of her perch on the couch as she waddled out of the room. “I don’t think so. I think he mentioned something about... uh, watching Gus for us tonight. So we could have a peaceful night together.” She moved into the kitchen.

Lindsay was having a difficult time believing what Melanie said. “Oh... really. That’s rather sweet.”

“HELLO!? ANYBODY HOME!?” A voice called from the front door as it closed.

Emmett stood up from his seat on the couch, moving to pick up a department store marked bag. “Back here, Sunshine!”

Justin walked into the kitchen. “Hey, Linds.” He kissed her offered cheek and chuckled as she wiped away the lipstick on his skin. “Moby Mel...” Justin turned to his other favorite *Mommy*. “You are lookin’...”

Melanie turned from the kitchen counter with an upended fork. “Careful the words you choose.”

Justin blinked, cleared his throat and forged on. “Like Mother Earth.”

“More like she swallowed the whole Earth.” Emmett teased as he tried to make it safely out of the kitchen. “Whoa, Mama!” He stood using Justin as a shield. “I gotta go see if the little boy’s room is free. I found the cutest little outfit, while shopping with Brian.”

Lindsay’s eyes widened in shock. “Brian’s been out with Em? Shopping? When did this start?”

Justin took an empty chair, to wait for Emmett, at the kitchen table. “I learned about this today, too. Although, I’m hard-pressed to believe he’s been filling ALL his spare time with lunch dates and shopping excursions with Em. Oh, and apparently he visits Ted at the rehab center, on a regular basis.”

Lindsay just shook her head, completely at a loss to explain Brian’s behavior. “I think you can account that Brian spends the other half of his time here... helping Mel out with Gus... while I’m at the gallery. He’s been a true godsend. Cooking meals, doing laundry. With Mel’s help, he’s done a couple of DIY projects we’ve been unable to complete. In fact... he’s here, right now... tucking Gus in...”

Justin tried very hard to hide his frustrations. “Would you two excuse me?” He took off, without hearing their disapproval, or approval. He took the stairs two at a time. He heard the shower running, disclosing Emmett’s whereabouts. Justin knew a little bit about where Gus’ room was. He hesitated, pushing open the door, unsure of what he might look upon.

Gus was laying wide awake, piled pillows giving him a perfect slanted angle to read on. The glow from his bed lamp allowed for little sight. Brian had one arm wrapped around Gus’ waist, while the other hung down to the floor. Brian had been more exhausted then he realized.

Justin didn’t have the heart to bother either of them. He just turned to walk back downstairs. He wasn’t sure whether he should be pissed at Brian or not, for keeping these little secrets hidden.

What worried Justin the most was... how much of this was Brian, himself... and which parts were in leu of Michael not being around?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The phone rang as Emmett and Justin were almost out the door. Melanie and Lindsay were sharing a late meal at the kitchen table. Out of habit, Melanie had the portable phone right on the table.

“Hello?” Melanie’s eyes widened in shock. “Papa Bear! How are you, hon-eey?!” She covered her mouthpiece. “It’s Michael.”

Emmett screeched and ran back in, telling Justin that he just wanted to tell Michael a few quick words.”Let me talk to him, Mel. Come on! Come on! Let me say somethin’, Smelly Melly!”

Melanie smiled into the phone. “Yeah, that’s Em... who else... well, let’s see... there’s me, Linds, Justin, Emmett, Gus and... uh... Brian. Yeah, I know... he told me. Uh, yeah... pretty crazy. Of course, you doofus! I’m bigger then a beached whale, but I’m enjoying it since Bri-... oh, sure yeah... okay, here’s Linds.” Melanie bit her lip as she waved Emmett over. “I need you to get Brian and Gus quickly.”

Emmett took off, afraid he’d miss his turn on the phone with Michael.

Lindsay smiled sweetly as she blushed from Michael’s comments. “Honey, please, what you’ve done has been more courageous then we ever could have expected. We’re quite proud of you. Well... I love Mel and I wouldn’t want to see anything happ-... I know, but Michael... I haven’t really done much. Brian’s... oh, yeah, sure... here’s Justin.”

“Hey, shortie!” Justin beamed a bright smile at his tease. “Come back so we can finish the next damn issue. I’ve got tons of ideas just fighting to get out. I need my writer. No, I can’t, Michael... this was your dream. I was just along for the ride.” Justin swiveled around just as Emmett slid into place beside him. Brian was slowly making his way down with Gus in his arms. “You, too...” He tried to swallow as he choked on an emotion. “Stop, Michael. You got people staring at me.” He sniffled and wiped at his eyes. “I know. I know. I do, too. Debbie’s fine. Uncle Vic couldn’t be better. You wouldn’t believe how Bi-... bee-utiful Melanie is!” She tweaked his arm with a flick of her finger. “Ow! Hey... here’s Em...” Justin wandered off, past Brian and Gus, stepping into the living room.

“Wait! I don’t wanna hear another word unless it’s to tell me you’re coming home... but, that means... Michael...” Emmett fluttered a hand to his chest. “Oh, my Gawd! I could faint for sure. So you’re almost home? In Philly? Honey, why don’t you just... okay, fine... be that way, you little shit!” Emmett put a shaking hand to his forehead. “I love you, too, honey... Yeah, I guess I can wait... Damn you... what?” Emmett turned a curious eye toward Brian and Gus. “Yeah... I’m looking right at him... sure can, but wouldn’t you rather talk to... okay, I understand.” Emmett walked up to Brian and Gus, holding out the extension. “Michael wants to talk... to Gus.”

Melanie and Lindsay gasped in shock.

Justin stood in the shadows of the living room watching Brian take the phone and hand it to Gus. He mimicked what to do with the phone. Brian nodded when Gus had it directly on his lobe so he could hear the voice.

“Lo?!”

Brian could hear Michael’s voice through the plastic.

“Hey, champ! How’s my little guy?!”

Gus turned a shocked eye to Brian. “Mikey?”

“Yeah. It’s me. Did you miss me?”

“Where are you?” Gus was just flabbergasted to hear Michael in this little rectangled object.

“I’m almost home, Gus. Tomorrow. Can you wait that long?”

“I miss’d you.”

Michael sighed into the phone. “I know, Gus. I’m sorry. I promise that once I’m home... we’ll do so many fun things together... I’ll make you sick... and we’ll laugh and we’ll play and I’ll buy you one of those cool snow cones in the park...”

“Daddy miss’d you, too.”

Brian shook his head, trying to tell Gus that was a huge mistake to say. He let his forehead fall to Gus’ head, knowing his son had no idea what he was doing wasn’t right.

The comment knocked Michael off his keister. He’d been able to avoid discussing Brian with everyone else, but doing it to Gus seemed wrong.

Michael sounded unable to speak as he cleared his throat. “I know... me, too, champ... more then he’ll ever know... I love you, guy...”

“Love ya, Mikey!”

Melanie quickly took back the extension to save Brian the embarrassment he was feeling. She walked off to speak to Michael privately, away from wandering ears.

Emmett quickly wiped under his eyes as he moseyed back over to the front door. “Come on, Sunshine... let’s boogie this night away.” He watched Justin walk over to Brian. “Honey, don’t...”

Justin kept his head down as he approached Brian. He seemed more vulnerable, approachable, with Gus in his arms. “I know this will seem lame and empty... I’m really sorry, but he’s not your problem to worry about, Brian. Ben and Michael are still a couple. You’re just the glorified best friend. What more were you expecting?” As he turned to head out the door, Emmett smacked him upside the head. “Ow-ch! What was that for?!”

“Get in the fuckin’ car, before I kick your ass, bitch!” Emmett shook his head sadly at the youth of today. “Next time I’ll rinse that dirty mouth out with soap!” Halfway out the door, Emmett peeked his head back in. “Please, don’t listen to a filthy word out of that boy’s mouth. I’ll set him straight, Brian.”

Brian fell to have his back hit the railing of the stairs. “He’s right, Em.”

“Shit! Not you, too.” Leaving the door open, Emmett came to stand in front of Brian. Looking him square in the eye. “I will not sit here and listen to this crap fall out of your mouth, Brian Kinney! You and Michael... honey... if ever there were two people who deserved to be together... it’s been you two. All this time... sure, it’s been rough. You’ve both had relationships... thought you loved other people the same way you do each other, but it hasn’t quite been what either of you expected. Michael’s at a rough spot, honey. Don’t give up so easily just because he seems to be a little pissy at the moment. And, please, don’t let what other people say offer you up a choice to make. Give it a few days. He’ll be home tomorrow and we can show him how loved he really is. How much we missed him... and hug him... and squeeze him ...and kiss him, until he throws up from all the love...”

Brian smiled weakly, patting Emmett on the cheek. “Go out, Em. We’ll talk later, when someone isn’t waiting on your ass. I've got to take Gus back to bed.”

“I’m holding you to your promise, Kinney. Night, sweetie.” Emmett bussed Brian and Gus’ cheek as he waved to Melanie and Lindsay.

“Brian...” Lindsay began as she watched Brian’s slouched back start climbing the stairs. She tried to touch him, consoling him, but couldn’t find the right area to caress. “Wait...”

“If you girls don’t mind, I’ll sleep in Gus’ bed tonight.”

Melanie pulled on Lindsay. “Let it be, honey. Don’t push it. He needs to think on it and sleep. We’ll see how he is tomorrow.”

Lindsay just shook her head as she walked back into the kitchen. “I just... I never thought I’d see the day.”

Melanie sighed deeply at the emptiness of the room... the uncomfortable silence that had once been filled with smiles, jokes and laughter. “Me either, Linds... me either.” She wobbled in to follow Lindsay.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brian was laying down in Gus’ bed, completely lost in slumber, when he felt the incessant shaking to his shoulder. His face was buried in the plush cotton pillow. Gus was all over his back, his little face tucked into his Daddy’s shoulder.

Lifting off the pillow's material, Brian opened one eye to look at who could be bothering him at... two-forty-five in the morning...

Then it suddenly hit Brian. “Wha-? What is it? Is Mel okay?” He was about to kick off the bed linen, when a gentle hand pushed him back down.

“Sorry, honey!” Emmett bent down to Brian’s level. He was shadowed by the back light, coming from the hallway. “I HAVE to talk to you!” The speech was slightly slurred, trying to whisper, but very loudly. Emmett tried to get himself up, placing a hand on the edge of the night stand, by Gus’ bed, ending up knocking over a few items. “Who the fu’k put that there?!”

“Em... it’s Gus' bedside alarm clock.” Brian sniffed the air. He could smell the fermenting that wafted off Emmett’s clothes. “You... are drunk... Emmett Honeycutt!”

Emmett did an exaggerated swallow that looked almost like he’d lose his lunch in two seconds. “I’m... shit-faced!”

“There’s a difference?!” Brian tried to keep Emmett at a good distance, as he climbed from under Gus’ enveloping frame. He couldn’t attend to both people at once. “Look... hands to your sides, at all times! And fuckin’ STAY! where you are! Don’t move... until I get there.”

Emmett stood, as tall as he could, but found himself leaning a little to the left. “Yes... suh, Daddy, suh!” He did an average salute that whizzed from his forehead with no fashion, or flare.

Brian untucked his body, slowly, so as not to disturb Gus’ gentle slumber. Once he was firmly out, he turned to re-place the blankets up around Gus’ sleeping body. The tiny body curled in the other direction, feeling frustrated at losing the warmth of Brian’s long, heated body. “It’s just Uncle Em, honey. Go back to sleep.” He rolled Gus up, like a human taco, in the added sheets. He reached out a tender hand to ruffle the fine, baby hair on the hidden head.

This... had better be some fuckin’ phenomenal information Emmett was about to pass on.

Emmett tried to keep his jittering body as immovable as possible, but he couldn’t stop finding himself so ridiculous, letting out a giggle or two. He watched Brian situated Gus in the bed, pull a thin blanket from the trunk at the end of the bed, wrapping his nearly naked body in the cool warmth. A pair of gray boxer briefs was Brian’s only clothing.

“Let’s take this outside... in the hall, Honeycutt.”

“Lead the way, Kinney!” Emmett made a sweep of his arm, almost sending his body face down on the floor. Brian was there to steady him. “Thanks...!”

“Ssshhh...” Brian put his index finger to his lips. “Keep it down.”

“Ooops! Sorry, honey... my rented lips are loosening...” Emmett kept a hand barricaded over his mouth, hoping that would stem the pitch.

“Let’s do this together, shall we?” Brian took one last look toward Gus as he walked Emmett under his arm, escorting him out of the bedroom. He quietly closed the door on their way out. “Okay...” He moved to place Emmett to lean along the opposite wall, in the hallway. “You got my attention. What could be so important that you had to come... wake me up out of a dead sleep, at three o’clock in the fuckin’ mornin’?!” He tried wiping the weariness from his eyes.

“Love... an’ fren’ship...” Emmett mumble, unsure of what had seemed like a good idea only a few hours ago.

“All right. I don’t buy it, but that’s a start, at least.”

“There’s more.”

“There’s gonna have to be.”

“Let me explain... myself.”

“Thank. God.” Brian crossed his arms, blanketed in the soft throw, as he relaxed on the wall.

“Please, Brian... this isn’t easy for me to say...”

“Being three-sheets to the wind doesn’t help any, does it?”

Emmett used the heels of his hands to cover his lids. “No... especially when you’re recently single... unattractive next to Justin ‘Sunshine’ Taylor. Who has the perfect... everything. I pale in comparison. Even after putting a few miles on this cute outfit.”

“Em...”

The tears began to pool in Emmett’s glazed eyes. He couldn’t bear to look directly at Brian. “These past few months... with you... they’ve been... enlightening. You spend all that free time, you have, doing the one thing I know you’d rather do by yourself. Or have someone hired to do it for you. And you give, of your time... to little ole me... shopping...”

“Don’t, Em...” Brian knew that Emmett was probably about to say something pretty stellar.

“No. You wanted to know, so... let me fuckin’ talk!”

Brian pushed off the wall, heading toward Emmett. “I know what you’re gonna say... and it’s a *given*. Michael would have done the same thing.”

Emmett stopped Brian with one hand to his chest. “No... you don’t know... a damn thing, Kinney.”

“Yes... I do.”

“Then...” Emmett bit his lip, sighed, turned his head down the hallway. “I guess my efforts are empty. I should never have come. I don’t need to be here.” He was almost off the wall, when Brian blocked his path.

“Wait!” Brian noticed there was something Emmett had to say, or else he’d burst in to tears. He grabbed for the wandering hand. “I’m sorry. That was rude of me to assume. Come back... and I’ll let you say your peace.”

Emmett yanked his hand back, placing it behind him. “You think you know everything. You think you have it all figured out. You know exactly where you belong... and where everyone else fits in their nice, neat little places...” He quickly swiped at his face, knowing he’d look foolish crying his eyes out.

“No, I don’t...” Brian was quick to make a smart comment, when he caught Emmett’s sharp look of “Cut The Bullshit” “Okay... I used to, but I don’t anymore...” Emmett wasn’t backing down. “... some times... not that much... in these past few months...”

“Better.” Emmett cleared his throat, hoping he’d be able to stay sober for most of his speech. “I don’t know about you, but that phone call from Michael, before Justin and I left... just rubbed me the wrong way. Not for Michael’s treatment of you, but for the sheer fact that I know what you’ve been doing, while he’s been away... and you allowed him to ignore you... sweep you off, under the rug.”

Brian went back to lean on the wall. “It’s okay, Em. I’m fine with the way Michael wants to handle this... part of our relationship...”

“NO!” Emmett went to cover his ears. “I don’t believe you! It fuckin’ rips your heart out onto the ground. Without fail, there’s a size twelve shoe prepared to mush the offending portion, right before your eyes. Don’t feed me all your rhetoric bullshit you usually hand out to clients in the boardroom. No matter how you try to package this *picture* of you, Brian... I know you... I know you’re dyin’ inside right now...”

“Em...”

“Excuse me... I have the floor. Let me speak.”

 

 **  
~~TBC...  
**


	2. Chapter 2

Brian stared down at the beautiful rugs lining the hall floorboards. “Fine. Can I, at least, have a seat?” He motioned to a chair a few inches away.

Emmett flew his hand out for Brian to follow his lead. Once the seat was occupied, Emmett went to sit on the floor. “As I was saying, this hurts you. Michael is intentionally hurting you, for some unknown reason. I thought about it, for awhile. I thought about the YOU, how you were... to the YOU, how you are now. There’s this humbled, drastic change that floors me. I feel we’ve gotten to become close. Closer then when Michael was here. I would hope that this is *real* for you. That this isn’t something you’re trying to sell me, ‘cause I won’t buy it. I don’t buy you, going back to being the old Brian Kinney. And I also don’t buy this calm, collected charmer who’s taking care of everyone. Like you feel you’re obligated to do some fuckin’ civic duty. I’m no charity case, Kinney! None of us are. We love... and miss... Michael... so much... we’ve been aching as much as you’ve been.” Emmett scooted across the floor, on his rear, to pull closer to Brian’s hunched form, in the chair. He reached up to cup Brian’s bare knees. “You’ll be fine, Brian. You’re always with family. We won’t hurt you... or try to harm you... or speak ill of you behind your back. We want you to be happy. Mostly... we want you to be with Michael.”

Brian finally let out a choked sob, covering his mouth. "Shit!!"

Emmett climbed to his knees, moving to hug Brian in his arms. “Ssshh... oh, sweetie... see, I knew you were hiding something.” His hands smoothed a path down Brian’s heaving back, covered by the knitted blanket. “That phone call said more then you know. I still have a fuckin’ lump in my throat. I know we all did...”

“Justin...” Brian weakly began, but was quickly stopped by Emmett.

“He’s not important, right now. Whatever he said, as spiteful and vindictive as it sounded... is nothing. They’re just words, Brian... not truth. And the Truth, in my eyes, is that you and Michael belong together. I don’t care what has kept you apart. I don’t care what was said before this very moment. I don’t care about anything... except what I believe in. And what I believe in is you and Michael. I have faith in fashion, some good skin care products, the *clearance* rack at Macy’s... a good batch of Oreos and milk before bed... and the fact that Michael Charles Novotny is the love of Brian Kinney’s life.” Emmett lifted Brian’s chin up, noticing the tracks marring the beautiful face. Those hazel eyes couldn’t look him in the face. “You deserve so much more then what you’ve gotten, Brian. This past year has stripped you of your identity. You’re trying to clamor about, finding out WHO you really are. I don’t think you’ve been able to find anything remotely resembling who you want to be.” He dipped his head, catching Brian finally opening his water-logged eyes. Thumbs went to wipe the blotchy cheeks.

“He knew...” Brian croaked out.

“What?” Emmett asked to clarify what was said.

“Michael knows. He always has. Before we were even friends, he had me pegged. Knew who I was trying to *fake* at being. So I had no choice to be who I really was, but...”

“That Brian Kinney is weak... and vulnerable, wears his heart on his sleeve, just like most of us human beings do? He’s missing his best friend, right now? He’s tryin', so hard, to cope with unbearable heartache that he’s surrounding himself with memories... and people, who remind him of Michael? Is that about right?” Emmett felt Brian shaking his head, but he reached up to steady Brian’s neck. “Stop it, honey. Lie to us... lie to Justin... hell, lie to me. Don’t ever... lie to yourself. It’s detrimental to your health... not to mention that poor battered heart of yours. Don’t you feel it... right here...” Emmett went to cup a palm over Brian’s right breast. “Michael *got* you...”

“What?” Brian furrowed his brow in bewilderment.

“Out of everyone in your sad, pathetic life... you found someone who knows you, inside and out... warts and all... bad vs. good. Someone who knows you better then yourself. Michael *gets* you. The YOU you’ve only begun to show us all, while he’s been gone. Someone in your past, your childhood... told you this Brian wasn’t good enough, but Michael knew different, didn’t he?”

“Yeah...”

“So why are you lettin’ him win? Why are you playing right into his hands?”

“Because... I’m a fuck up. I messed with his head too many times for him to believe anything out of my mouth.”

“What... like you think you have something to prove?”

“No, not exactly.” Brian pulled back from Emmett, sitting straight in the chair. He bit at his thumb, wondering if he should tell Emmett what had occurred. “He told me. Over the phone, almost a month ago.”

“Told you what exactly?” Emmett sat back down on the floor, Indian style.

“That he loved me. I thought it was like how we always talked to each other, but he clarified what he actually meant. Declaring his real feelings for me. What he’d been harboring for years... and I choked...”

“You hung up on him?”

“No... I didn’t say one word. Michael was the one who hung up. He thought my silence was my answer.”

“Was it?”

Brian shook his head, looking down at Emmett. “See... I’ve never felt worthy of him. Even at the lowest rung in my life... no career, no loft, no... way to support someone in my life. He’s talking about helping ME out. Michael was going to take care of me, until I got back on my feet.”

“That’s not what you wanted?”

Brian closed his eyes tightly. His hands slid down to open, palm up for Emmett to grab onto. “I want it... Em, I do. I want it so badly... I ache... constantly. But what does that say about me, when I’m starting this relationship on a *needy* level. I told him to stay away. I told him... begged him to take his time to think this over. Make sure ***I*** was what he wanted... right this moment... the way I am.”

Emmett held onto Brian’s hands, so gently, but clenching in worry. “What did he say, honey?”  
   
“Nothing. He stopped talking to me altogether. Which then made me wonder if he was sizing me up... actually contemplating cutting me loose. So, I guess... in a way, I’m trying to save face. Make myself into someone Michael would want to come home to. Or, at the very least, make sure everything is squared, so when he returns, he doesn’t have much to worry about.”

“And you sulk off into your dark corner? No... no... I won’t have it! You are gonna fight for your man, Brian.” Emmett awkwardly rose to his feet, with a little of Brian’s help.

Brian let out a light chuckle, feeling comfortable with allowing the dried tears to remain on his face. "Can I take you to your bed, Em?"

"You can't *handle* me, Kinney. I'm too much man for you." Emmett weakly wrapped an arm around Brian's neck.

"Thanks for the warning... but it's just a harmless walk to your bedroom." Brian was already on his way to the correct door. "Besides... I don't take advantage of wasted, defenseless men, who are currently still in love with their ex-boyfriends." He placed Emmett on the paneling of the bedroom door.

Emmett raised his brow. "Still shows, huh?" He leaned on the nob of the door.

Brian reached up to brush back wisps of Emmett's hair, ending up cupping his cheek. "Every minute, Em, but your secret's safe with me." He quickly patted the flesh under the flushed skin.

Emmett grabbed the hand, placing a thankful kiss to the palm. "You've been a godsend, to me, Brian, during this whole... whatever. Let's hope tomorrow will be better for both of us." He let a side of his mouth perk up.

"What do you mean?" Brian quirked his head, in curiosity.

"Michael comes home tomorrow night. Pasta night at Deb's, you know. She specially requested that Teddy's rehab let him out for one day... supervised, of course."

Brian's eyes widened, slightly. The information about Michael's reappearance had slipped his mind. "Really?" He had known about Ted coming over, but he didn't know exactly who would be bringing him. Brian didn't think Emmett wanted to hear that it could be Blake. If he recalled, Emmett didn't have a great impression of the young man. "Do you need me to help you into bed?"

"Nah... I'm dandy. I'll just flop face down and conk out. Toodles..." Emmett opened the door, stepped inside and waved his goodnight.

Brian stood, for a few minutes, outside. His hand went to fall on the wall. His head bowed in heartache. Christ! He hoped Lamaze class took longer then usual. Something to give a good excuse for arriving late... or not at all.

Maybe Melanie could find a perfect reason to exit for them, possibly, right in the middle of dinner.

Brian turned to head back into Gus' room. He knew he'd be unable to sleep, until just the crack of dawn hit.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The door chime sounded, telling of another customer making their way into the store. Brian was up on a ladder, adding some extra shelving, along the wall, behind the cash register counter. He didn't look over, as he set the laminated boards on the even slats hanging out of the plaster.

"You know... I've seen some perfect asses, in my day, but yours, honey... yours is in a class all on its own."

Brian smiled around the nails in his mouth. He took them out to talk. "Hey, Vic! Flattery... will get you nowhere... and..." He climbed down the steps. "... you're late." Once Brian plopped down, from the last rung, he pulled down his shirts. His wardrobe, for the comic store, was 180 degrees different then what would normally be his dress code for work.

A nice, comfortable pair of coco brown jeans, tan and brown Addidas, a long-sleeved dark green tunic with an olive-colored t-shirt, showing a particular comic book hero.

"Sorry, Brian. Couldn't be helped." Vic took off his jacket, unswirling his scarf from his neck. "Had lunch with The Boyfriend."

"Oh, really?! Yours?!" Brian wiped his hands on the thighs of his jeans.

"No..." Vic gave an odd look to Brian as he wondered if he should divulge this information. Quite honestly, he didn't see the harm, until he realized too late. “Michael’s.”

Brian had no idea how to respond. “Oh... well... Ben’s no longer...?” He used the shape of the ladder as his strong support.

“Christ! You didn’t know!” Vic covered his mouth to stem his explicative words.

“Uh... no... not really.” 'But I live with Michael's *other* boyfriend.', Brian felt like belting out. “What about Ben? What happened?”

Vic walked closer to the glazed appearance of Brian’s eyes. “What about him? He and Michael had agreed to split... a month or so ago. Wait! I thought you saw Ben almost everyday. Don’t you live in the apartment?”

“Yeah, but we only communicate what we think is important. I guess he didn’t think this was that *important*.”

“No... Brian. Maybe he thought Michael had already told you. Save himself the added embarrassment of having to deal with your sarcastic sympathy. Or your jovial nature at their break-up. Michael told us Ben’s making plans to head out to Tibet at the end of the Winter session.”

“Sorry.” Brian tried to sit on one of the steps, placing hands on his legs to breathe steadily, hoping he wouldn’t collapse from the staggering news. “All this... is new to me.”

“Oh, son... why didn’t you...?” Vic tried to approach Brian, but was thwarted by a hand out to keep him away.

“What’s his name?” Somehow, Brian knew this was his test. A test to see if he could handle the torture. And to make him realize he need to move fast... or else Michael would be lost to him. Quite possibly... forever.

“I don’t think...”

“What is his name, Vic?”

“Ryan. Ryan Kairos.”

“Sounds Greek.”

“He is. Family money. He’s adorable. Debbie’s already in love with him.”

Brian cleared his throat, sniffed once and moved to put all the comics back on the shelving unit. He felt his legs wobble, a bit, as he made to climb the first rung of the ladder. “That’s good for Michael. Having Debbie on his side will be a good thing.”

Before Brian could climb the ladder, Vic swiped everything out of his hands. “Cut the crap, Brian! What the fuck is going on?”

“Why... what do you mean?” Brian knew he couldn’t hide anything from Vic.

“Did you hear me? About Michael?”

“I think it’s good for Michael to move on.” Brian went to snatch back the comics, getting back to work. “Now, do you mind? I need to get this display set up. Some of us actually work here, for a living.” He felt his legs wobble, a bit, as he climbed.

Vic gave up the struggle, closely watching Brian as he took cautious steps on his way up. “You’re a good liar, Brian. I’m used to you. You’re not actually just gonna sit and let this happen?”

“Why not? It’s what Michael wants.”

Vic reached up to clamped down on Brian’s calf muscle. “What about what YOU want? What about...?”

“What the fuck about... WHAT?, Vic. It’s too fuckin’ late!” Brian pulled himself out of Vic’s clasp. “I waited too long.”

“No! You didn’t wait long enough!” Vic made a sad face, staring down at the floor, wondering what could have made Brian give up so easily. “I’ll be in the office, looking over the books. Bring me your register drawer when you’re ready to go home.” Frustrated more with himself, then with Brian, Vic stomped off into the backroom.

Brian watched Vic leave with a frown on his face. What could be bothering Vic? Brian had tried very hard to keep he and Michael’s personal relationship, or what was left of it, between them. He rolled his wrist over to notice the time was nearing the end of his shift.

Melanie, and Gus, were both at home awaiting his return. He’d never been so happy to leave the store, hoping to distance himself from certain things that kept reminding him of Michael.

It looked as if Michael had moved on, away from him. On his own.

Brian would have to give Michael some space. Put his plans to *woo* Michael on hold, in order to size up the state of this new boyfriend.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The knock sounded as Vic lifted his head to see Brian walk in, closing the door behind him. The cash register drawer was placed on the fully covered desk. Vic looked at Brian over his reading glasses, as he tallied the columns in the log book for accounting Red Cape Comics' profits. He was about to say something snappy, when he noticed how flustered Brian appeared, as he stood back from the small desk. Brian’s thumbs were tucked in the back pockets of his jeans. A few words were about to be spoken. Crooking an arm, on the desktop, Vic stared at Brian.

“I know you must be disappointed in me. Sure I’ve purposely failed at most everything that’s been heading my way, these last few months. No one’s more tired of my lazy ass, then me. Michael’s coming back home. I feel like I’ve got ten thousand butterflies in my stomach. I’m still... in exactly the same place I was in, when Michael left. I need you to know, that wasn’t my plan. I had huge dreams. I wanted to get back into advertising. I could feel the old itch in my fingers.” Brian turned his head away, like he heard a sound in the distance. “But... I don’t know, Vic. Somewhere down this long, winding road... I came to a *fork* and it made me choose what was most important. Hard to believe I found out it’s not me... and it isn’t Michael. At least, not yet. There’s something bigger here that needs tending to. I was hoping I didn’t do a half bad job of it. I know I stumbled a few times, but I’m pretty sure Michael will return, never noticing what went on while he was out.”

“Brian... look...”

“No, please, let me speak. Something tells me, you felt this lunch with Ryan Kairos was pretty interesting. Probably... there’s a lot of potential there, that I could never measure up to. I’m not even gonna try. So, don’t worry about me fuckin’ up this one for Michael. I’ve got enough stuff on my plate.” Brian took the set of keys out of his pocket, placing them on top of the drawer. “You can take me off the employee roster. Since Michael’s coming back, I’m pretty sure he’s not gonna need me mucking up his business.” He was almost out the door, when Vic called him back.

“Whoa! Wait right there, young man!” Vic pushed out of his rolling chair, came around the desk and started to near Brian, caught in the doorway. “Don’t put words in my head, Kinney! No one... I’m telling you, right now, this minute... there isn’t a man alive that could be good enough for Michael. But YOU... YOU come damn, fuckin’ close!”

Brian looked up at Vic. “What about David... Ben... and this, Ryan guy?”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Vic leaned along his desk ledge. “Look closer, son. Think about how we all saw how David and Ben were projected to us, from the start. They were perfect boyfriend material... until Michael fell in love with them and they fell for him. The relationships brought out their true selves, which got dark and scary at times. They ended up hurting Michael, or breaking a little piece of his heart.”

“Vic... hate to tell you this, but I’ve been breaking Michael’s heart for years.”

“In a roundabout way, yes, but in some freakishly caring way... you’ve also been the most protective of it. Kind of makes up for all the other shit.”

“If that was a compliment... it was fucked-up!”

Vic chuckled as he contemplated what to say next. “Do you want to know?”

“About?”

“Ryan?”

“Gorgeous...” From Vic’s earlier description, Brian tried to make his own assumptions.

“Pretty.” Vic chose to replace the words with ones he felt fit better.

“Rich...”

“Comfortable.”

“Greek God.” Brian shrugged.

“Eh... close.”

“Perfect.”

“Too... perfect. Nauseatingly perfect.”

Brian raised an eyebrow, thinking he still may have half a chance. “And how is that a bad thing?”  
“Somehow... some way... he’s flawed. No one’s that fuckin’ perfect.”

“Tell me about it.”

“So... you still comin’ tonight?”

“To Deb’s?”

Vic hated how much he had to squeeze out of Brian, just to get him to come to a normal family dinner. “Son, it’s family. Nothing has to be dealt with tonight.”

“I bet Deb’s happier then a clam.”

“She’s tickled about Ryan. If I were twenty years younger, I’d fuck him.”

“She likes to see me squirm.”

“Brian...” Vic still hadn’t gotten his answer.

“I don’t know, Vic. We’ll see. Mel’s got a Lamaze class tonight. Right now, she’s one of my priorities.”

“If Gus is a problem, he’s more then welcome.”

“He won’t be a problem. I just... I don’t want to...”

“Look, I understand, Brian. I’m only an old man who still believes in first, true and only loves. I’m pretty damn sure I’ve been privy to it’s magic, for quite awhile now. Can I just soak in my idea of a perfect world? With corresponding happy endings?”

“Sure. We’re all entitled to our fantasies coming true, at least, once before we die.”

“Hey!” Vic called out just as the door was almost closed.

Brian poked his head in, as a set of keys were thrown back at him.

“Keep these handy, son. I may still need you.” Vic shoo-ed Brian away.

Once the door shut, Vic remained sitting on his desk, pondering what he could do to help Brian. Or at least knock some sense into his crazy nephew’s head.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The class was over much earlier then Brian had anticipated.

Melanie was relaxed in the mini-van’s passenger side, buckled in, resting her head on the cushions.

Gus was strapped in his toddler seat, conked out from all the playing he did in the day care at the center.

Keeping true to his insane, jovial manner, Brian started the engine. “Can I interest anyone in a burger? Tacos? Fried chicken? You all awake enough to eat a quick meal? Nothing says we have to eat there. There’s always take-out.”

Melanie’s eyes remained shut. “Brian?”

“Yo!”

“You wanna cut the crappy, Happy Daddy act! Tell me what the fuck has been on your mind? Something has spooked you.”

Sighing heavily, Brian gripped the steering wheel with both hands. “Pasta Night. At Deb’s.”

“So... okay... hmm, really? What time?”

“Michael’s supposed to come back tonight.” Brian never answered Mel's questions, seeming to have his own conversation.

“What time is the meal?”

“He brought his NEW boyfriend. Some fuckin’ Greek God... heir to a family fortune...”

“What time is everyone else showing up?”

Brian tried hard to ignore everything Melanie said. He glanced over at her. “You’re not honestly thinking about showing our faces there?”

“At what part of hearing me say, ‘What time...?’ clues you in on my declines? Deb makes excellent pasta. Is it Marinara... or a lasagna...or spaghetti...?”

“Did you hear what I said?”

“I heard you, loud-n-clear, Kinney. But last time I checked, they had already crucified and martyred ONE God. It’s just a fuckin’ meal.”

“Yeah... and the Titanic was only a leaky boat.”

“Perspectives, Brian. Do you know how many times I’ve walked into a courtroom, scared shitless, out of my mind, sure I’d lose the case?”

“I don’t know.”

“Every single damn one of them!! I learned it's all in how your presentation comes across, that's the key. Not only the case and the client, but also, yourself. I put my ass on the line, so many times, I’ve lost count. Approach the enemy with fear, they will easily spot your weaknesses. Approach the enemy with respect and kindness, they won’t ever be able to know which way to proceed.”

“Is this your roundabout way of telling me you’d like to go to Deb’s, Mel?”

“Subtle enough, for ya’?”

“Just. I can see how you won many of your cases.”

“Piece of cake.”

“Cake? Okay... I got it. You’re hungry. Fine! We’re goin’!”

“Yeah!” Melanie clapped with glee, as Brian peeled out of the parking space.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Ooohhh... I am stuffed. I can’t eat another bite.” Emmett plopped down on the couch, in the Novotny living room.

“Rub my feet, Em.” Melanie had been relaxing on the sofa cushions. She raised her feet to Emmett’s lap once he took his position.

“M’pleasure, m’lady.” Emmett began the massage as he eyed Brian making a third pass between the kitchen and the living room windows. “Christ! He’s making ME dizzy. How many laps is he planning on finishing?”

Melanie looked over the arm of the couch to see Brian in the kitchen, back facing them. “Don’t know exactly. Depends on when Michael decides to show his face.”

“I get the living room bit, but I’m a little unclear to why he’s at the kitchen one.” Emmett watched Brian splay his arms along the sink's edge.

“The Greek God.”

“Jealousy? For Ryan? That boy is a pure harmless kitten.”

“Don’t tell Brian that. Somehow he’s gotten it in his mind that the kid’s his competition. It didn’t help that Ryan practically took over, changing Pasta Night into a Bar-B-Que. Bought all the meats, all the fixin’s and made some homemade side dishes. He kept Deb with him in the kitchen to make the cole slaw, the macaroni, pasta and potato salad. The second Brian and I arrived, Ryan was manning the grill. I think...” Melanie paused, bit her lip, allowing Brian to pass the couch before she spoke again. “I think... someone is feeling like they’ve been knocked off their pedestal.”

“Hmm... well, it is difficult to compare yourself to someone who’s run with the bulls in Pamplona, stomped their own bottles of wine in Tuscany, skied with Royalty in the Swiss Alps...”

“Don’t forget the private cooking classes with Wolfgang Puck.” Melanie filled in the last bit of information.

“Brian hasn’t even been out of Pittsburgh for longer then a day or two.” Emmett made a face. “Ryan’s a bit much, isn’t he? Makes you wonder what Michael ever saw in him.”

“Just slightly. I know this sounds biased, but I’d choose Brian, over anybody... any day.” Melanie sat up, patting Emmett’s hands on her feet. “Don’t tell Brian. He’ll never believe I said those words.”

Emmett motioned zipping up his lips shut, throwing away the key. “I feel the same way.” Brian was making his turn to come back into the direction of the kitchen, when Emmett made a grab for the dangling wrist. “Honey, please... sweetie... you’re gonna make yourself sick. Come over... sit with me and the Little Momma.”

Melanie stretched out her hands to pull Brian around to sit on the other end of the couch. She’d be able to rest her upper half on his lap. “Brian... time will move much more easily if you get your mind off what you’re stressin’ over. The three of us will talk. We’ll make a nice conversation to divert your attention... from, uh... all the distractions.”

Sighing heavily, Brian complied, taking the seat under Melanie’s head. As he got comfortable, Melanie placed a pillow at her head, keeping a tight grip on Brian’s hand. “I guess I’m a little worried. Do you think anything happened with his transportation?”

Emmett shook his head. He glowed with the image in his head of Brian fretting over Michael. Showed he still cared. “Ryan’s not worried. Said Michael was gonna drive home, or catch a cab. The guy’s legit, so I don’t think we should cause ourselves anymore distress. Once Ryan gets flustered, then it’s time.”

There was a slam of the back screen door. A voice spoke out of the kitchen. “Did I hear my name taken in vain?”

Emmett and Melanie smiled, hoping Ryan wouldn’t catch their own worry over Brian.

“Hey, Ryan.” Melanie waved as she soaked up all this male attention. Sometimes men were good for something. Emmett was rubbing her feet, Brian had taken to brushing the hair on her head, massaging the scalp. She was in seventh heaven.

Emmett smirked at the young man. “It’s nothing, Ryan. We’re just eager to see Michael.”

Ryan took a corner spot on the coffee table. “Cool. Understandable. I’m actually sort of glad I’ve got you three here. I’ve gotten to learn A LOT about Michael, but I think Debbie’s kind of biased. I’d rather get the scoop from his best friends. Is there anything you guys think I should know... that I haven’t learned already?”

Brian turned his head to look directly at Ryan. “Getting to know someone... especially someone you plan on building a relationship with... isn’t some kind of quickie course. It takes a lifetime, and then some, to know the person you’re with.”

Melanie wrapped Brian’s arm about her chest. She wanted to do two things. Give him a squeeze of reassurance, but to also tell him to calm down. Maybe letting him feel the baby move might get him to focus.

Emmett felt the iciness from Brian. He quickly chose to speak up. “I think what Brian means to say is... Michael is a rare breed of man. He’s hard to pin down. To easily describe him in character. He’s...”

“Irreplaceable.” Brian whispered out as he cupped Melanie’s belly, knowing that inside thrived a piece of Michael he very much had been falling in love with for months, now. He was glad for Melanie’s diversion tactics.

There was a moment of silence. All that was heard was a slam of a car door. And then a second one.

Michael’s voice yelled. “Yo, Hunter... where you goin’?”

Hunter shuffled along the grass of the front yard. “I hear them in the back. Come on, old geezer!”

Everyone remained still, thinking Michael would come right through the front door. Instead, they watched a dark head make his way up the drive to come up the side of the house to head into the backyard.

“Son, it’s just as easy to make our way through the front...”

“Fine. Go bang on the locked front door... and I’ll go get my *welcomes* in the back. Toodles!”

“Wait! Hunter! Slow down! We shouldn’t just barge in!”

Ryan let out a sheepish grin. “Excuse me...” He was gone in less then a minute.

High-pitched voices could be heard as people welcomed Michael and Hunter back home.

Debbie’s screams, and riotous laughter, were the loudest.

No one, left in the living room, moved an inch.

The three people who were eagerly anticipating Michael’s arrival... were the most frozen in fear.

What would face them when they looked into those warm, chocolate brown eyes they once remembered?

“I gotta go check on Gus!” Brian spoke up first, pushing up from under Melanie.

Before Melanie could keep a good tight hold on Brian, he slipped right from under her. “No! Brian... come on...” With watery eyes, Melanie watched Brian climb up the stairs two at a time. “Fuck!” She placed her face in the cushions, pounding her fist on the material.

“Let him go, sweetie. We can only take this so far, before it falls out of our hands. Just be glad they’re both here.”

“I feel so bad, Em. I feel like we’ve let them both down. I don’t want to like this... fuckin’ Ryan ‘Richie Rich’ wannabe. I want to fuckin’ scream at Brian to tell Michael he loves him. And I want to strap Michael to a chair so he won’t move, in order to hear what Brian has to say.”

“Ah... my dear... playing *cupid* is never easy.”

“Love, Em... is never easy.”

Emmett looked up as he heard talking and laughter coming into the kitchen, after the bang of the screen door.

Ted and Blake were conversing about something they’d shared in a few weeks ago. They pulled a case of sodas from the pantry.

Emmett and Melanie watched as both men never even acknowledged there was anybody in the house. They exited as soon as they arrived.

Emmett turned to look Melanie dead in the eye. “Tell me about it, Mel.”

“Oh, baby...” Melanie scooted over to snuggle with Emmett as they wallowed in their own self-pity. They were either going to wait for Michael to come find them, or venture outside... once Melanie was well-rested.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“I can’t believe how beautiful you look.” Michael swung Melanie back around to face him, his arm loosely wrapped about her neck. He placed a long kiss to her cheek, his hand wandering to smooth over her stomach. He felt a slight jolt from the movement. “Whoa!”

“Yeah. It’s a live one.” Melanie tried to hide her blush. She took Michael’s hand, walking him beyond people’s eyes, to a private area where they could talk.

“Do you know the sex, yet?” Michael couldn’t help staring at the bulging abdomen. His child was growing inside.

“No. I hope you don’t mind. Every time I go in for my ultrasound they say they can tell me, but I wanna be surprised.” Melanie shrugged. “Brian knows, though. He couldn’t wait that long.”

Michael’s eyebrows rose. “Where is he?”

“Brian?”

“Know the Muffin Man! Yeah... Brian...” Michael squinted up at the house, hoping to catch a glimpse of him, in a window or somewhere.

Brian wasn’t in the crowds of family and friends outside.

“I put Gus in your bed, upstairs. Brian was going to check on him.” Melanie watched as Michael knelt to kiss her belly, mumbled a few words against the material of her dress. “Get the fuck up, Novotny. People will think you’ve gone straight. I’m a married woman.”

Michael stood up, wiping off his knees. He began to drop tiny butterfly kisses all over Melanie’s face. “Thank you. Thank you for being a wonderful mother. Thank for being patient. Thank you for taking care of yourself. Thank you for loving our baby...”

Melanie put out a hand to cover Michael’s puckered lips. “Hey! I didn’t do this alone.” She gripped both of Michael’s hands. “I need you to know, before you run upstairs to crap all over Brian...” Melanie saw Michael’s need to speak up, but interrupted him. “I know that’s what you feel like doing, but I’m gonna ask you to listen, first, then think this through.”

“Okay.”

“This is gonna sound weird, coming from me... but I don’t think I’d be half as sane as I am... without Brian Kinney.” Melanie knew she’d be an emotional wreck once she began to speak about this topic. “Brian’s been my rock, when I’ve crumbled to pieces. He taught himself how to cook... for me. He let me teach him how to do laundry. He’s taken me to all my doctor’s appointments. He knows my mood swings. Knows when I’ve had enough of Gus. Knows when I need my feet rubbed. In a nutshell, Michael, Brian has seen me through everything, since you’ve been gone. He’s the one you owe my health to. He’s taking me to my Lamaze classes. Despite all this responsibility he’s sucked in... he’s enjoyed himself immensely. His relationship with Gus has become... something he always wanted with his own father...”

Michael bowed his head. He’d known something was going on while he was gone, but little by little he discovered what role Brian had actually taken on. Playboy Brian Kinney was non-existent... over Responsible Adult Brian Kinney. One final kiss to Melanie’s flushed cheek. “I can still thank the mother of my child. You’re doing the hardest part of all.” He caressed her face as he broke away from her, heading up to his old childhood bedroom.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Michael found them both knocked out on his twin mattress. Brian, on his back, right arm out along the pillows. Gus was tucked to his right side, peacefully asleep on his Daddy’s arm. As Brian had been falling asleep, he’d been in the middle of playing with the wisps of Gus’ fine hair. That arm still curled about Gus’ head.

Michael felt guilty for what he was about to do.

Moving to the side where he could reach Gus, Michael lifted him up into his arms. He never disturbed Brian, once. He shushed, rocking the little boy in his embrace as he carried him out of the room and into Debbie’s bed. He kissed the mop of light brown hair, tucking the light covers over his tiny form.

Michael headed on back to Brian.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brian felt the first sensation of a tickle to his belly as he leisurely opened his languid eyes. What he saw, took his next breath away. During his fitful sleep, Brian’s shirts had rode up his torso.

Michael was helping move them up more, placing tender kisses to the revealed flesh.

"Michael?”

“Ssshh...” Michael was drawing a pattern of no particular style all over the pale skin. He was reaching the area of the upper chest and nipples.

“What are you doing?” Brian whispered, a silly grin on his lips.

“Doesn’t it look familiar?” Michael’s tongue circled one nipple, kissed a path over to the next. “Foreplay, Brian.” He suckled, licking, longer on the left nipple.

Brian tried to lift his arms, but realized that Michael was putting slight pressure on his biceps. He wanted to run his fingers through the swirls of Michael long raven hair. The mixture of saliva, fevered flesh and Michael’s soft beard... sent his body into overdrive. He arched his back, when Michael began to bite at his delicate skin. “Foreplay leads to sex, Novotny.”

“Really, Kinney? Thanks for the heads up.” Michael situated his body to lay over Brian, straddling the hips. “You’ve got too many clothes on.” He proceeded to rid Brian of his two shirts. The necks of the shirts caused Brian’s hair to muss, but it just made him look delicious to Michael’s eyes. “Damn!” He grabbed under Brian’s head, rasing those lips for him to kiss, long and hard. “I missed... this... I missed you.” Michael breathed on Brian’s moistened mouth.

Licking his lips, Brian pressed his forehead to Michael’s. His hands went to cup each thigh at his sides. He squeezed and rubbed at the material covering them, making his thumbs climb up toward the crotch area. “Are you sure, Michael... are you sure you want this?”

Those chocolate eyes never wavered. The confidence behind them floored Brian. “I wouldn’t be here... in this bed... completely hard, for you... willing to go further, with you... utterly... in love... with you...”

Brian put up a hand to quiet Michael. “Don’t! Don’t feel you have to do that!”

“Why not?! It’s what I feel.”

“I don’t want...” Brian sat up, Michael moved to sit on the pelvis under him. “I don’t want to fail you, Mikey. I don’t want to be the next man to break your heart.”

Caressing the face under his palms, Michael smiled sweetly at Brian. “After all those years you thought to protect me... you don’t think, at least once... you’ve caused me a broken heart?”

“We could bounce back from that, though, Mikey. After we have sex... things might get a little more complicated.”

“Complicated? You?”

“That’s not my point.”

“I know what your point is, Brian, but I’m a big boy, now. All grown-ed. I can take care of myself.”

“But... I don’t want you to have to.” Brian rolled them over, so Michael was now on the bottom. “So... I ask you again... are you sure you want this?”

Michael lifted his head, kissing Brian on the mouth, solidifying his answer. “I want you. I love you.” He spoke as if those few words were enough.

Brian reached up to touch Michael’s cheeks, running along his jaw line. “I don’t usually go for the facial hair, but on you... it works. It’s so fuckin’ soft.” Squeezing Michael’s jaw in one hand, Brian leaned down to plant baby kisses over Michael’s face. The dark bristles tickling his lips. He began to unbutton Michael’s shirt, pulling the material slowly down his arms. “I’m curious. I have to ask.”

Michael had been concentrating too much on what Brian was doing to him, that he didn’t hear the question. “What?’

“Who... the fuck... is this Ryan Kairos... to you?”

“A bit of fun, I guess.” Michael made a face like he was slightly annoyed.

Brian let Michael fall back amongst the pillows. “Oh, no... did Michael Charles Novotny have a *fling*? An affair? A One Night Stand that wouldn’t go away?”

“I stayed faithful, Brian. Up until the day Ben called to break up with me.”

“I thought it was a mutual separation.” Brian continued to nip at Michael’s entire face, leisurely moving down along the slim column of neck. He could detect a surface pulse beating, which he continued to suckle as he waited for a reply. “Michael?”

“Uh... sorry...” Michael chuckled as he fluttered his eye lids. “My mind is on someone else.”

Brian stopped, looked up at Michael. “Really? Who?”

“You.”

“Good answer.” Brian noticed that Michael’s build was slightly different. Gone were the lanky pecks and the tight, sunken abs. Being away had given Michael an excuse to build his muscle mass. No more little patch of manly bush growing in the center of his upper chest. “What in the hell did you do to yourself?” Brian was finding himself growing harder the more he searched Michael’s body. The months away had been good for Michael.

“Someone taught me how to eat and exercise right, for my body type. It’s just a surface change... I’m still the same man inside.” Michael wanted Brian to be reassured of that fact.

“I’m glad, but change, no matter where you find it, can always be an excellent thing.” Brian had reached the button and zipper of the pair of trousers. He only paused to glance up at Michael’s eyes, but found that there was going to be some words said. He had the zipper halfway down, ready to put his hand deep inside. “What?”

“Touch me. I’ve dreamed about you touching me for months.”

“You’re way ahead of me, Mikey” Brian slid back up to hover over Michael’s serene face. “You really dreamed about me? For months?” He asked, while kissing the naked skin, as if he was flabbergasted by the admission.

“I was fairly horny, by then.” Michael chuckled at the tickles to his nerve endings. “Ryan’s a bit much, but he’s still pretty to look at.” He reached up to grab onto the back of Brian’s head, fiddling with the locks of hair. “But every time I thought it would be so easy to climb into bed, with him... here you’d come, waltzing back into my mind. We have too many fuckin’ memories between us. Hunter says I can’t talk about anything without at least mentioning you once in the conversation.”

“I thought you were angry at me.” Brian rubbed his nose over the heated skin, bringing the tip close to Michael’s nose. “That last phone call... yesterday...” He paused, overcome by the heartache he’d felt since then.

“I know.” Michael quickly held onto Brian, tighter then he ever could. His hands went to smooth over Brian’s naked back. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what I know now. Which I should have been privy to, but since we were ignoring one another, I guess... well, I think when I talked with everyone else, here at home, they had no idea to our fight. They couldn’t stop mentioning what you were doing, while I was gone. So I’d stop them right when they’d say your name. Cut them off so they couldn’t hurt me any further. By my phone call yesterday, I’d gotten so used to that way of talking over the phone... I realized how foolish, how childish, I was sounding. I didn’t like myself much for intentionally hurting you like that. I’m sorry...” Michael pressed a gentle kiss to Brian’s shoulder, hoping they could move beyond the forgiveness stage... and come back to the sex.

“What do you want, Mikey?”

“Tonight?”

Brian lifted his head from the comforting shelter of Michael’s body. “We can start tonight... but I’m actually asking for the rest of your life? What do you want most... in this world?”

“Umm... let’s see... for Rage to be kick-ass, again. For my child to be born healthy, no matter the sex. And for Gus to grow up in a world that doesn’t care what his parents are... and for...” Michael was thinking about carrying out a slight tease, but there was such seriousness in those gorgeous hazel eyes. He didn’t dare keep Brian in suspense. “... happiness. I wanna be happy, again. I want a love in my life that leaves me breathless. I want a man by my side who can keep up with me. I want a lover in my bed who will play, joke and tease me until I’m hornier then I’ve ever been. I want you, Brian Kinney. Is that... the kind of answer you were looking for?”

Brian tried to close his mouth, from the shock. “Yeah... but you don’t have to include Gus in your worries. He’s gonna be fine.”

“I love him, just as much as I love you.”

Brian swallowed the lump in his throat. It never failed to touch him, deeply, when Michael spoke about Gus. “If these past few months, without you, have taught me anything... it’s that I’m gonna be alright. I had this fear... stupid, I know... that I’d be shitty at being a father, just like Jack was. I thought it was gonna be difficult. I thought I’d have to work at being what Gus needs. What any child needs. But the reality is... there’s really no effort into loving a child, whatever age. And that love... fuels the response of taking care of who, and what, is yours. Doesn’t have to be blood related... you just have to have an keen understanding and a brave enough heart to open yourself to everyone around you.”

“Who are you?” Michael let the tears fall as he reached out to caress Brian’s growing stubble. “You look like my best friend.”

Brian used his thumbs to wipe the moisture from Michael’s face. “This is your best friend. It’s who I should have been after you met me. I should have went with my gut instinct and snatched you up immediately, for myself.”

“Ah, you and your inherent need to protect me... and my sappy, pathetic heart.”

Brian decided to lick under Michael’s eyes, because the waterworks wouldn’t stop. “Don’t make fun of my man, Novotny. At least, I hope he wants to be mine.” The hand went back down to the enlarged groin, slipped inside the warmth under the material, making it’s way to take the throbbing organ in his palm. “Because despite everything we’ve been through... the hurts and the bruises... the laughter and the teases... the pain and the tears... you still have a part of me I’ve never been able to give to anyone else...” Brian’s other hand went to take Michael’s and place it over his right breast, the beats increased as the tiny hand went to cup the skin, rubbing the surface.

Michael rolled them back over, thrusting into Brian’s grip. “Do you know what I want... more then anything in this world...?” As he moaned into Brian’s mouth, he nipped at the pink flesh.

“What?” Brian was losing himself in Michael’s own pleasure, his own cock growing stronger. “Anything....”

“I want you to give yourself to me.” Michael used his hands to mold and shape Brian’s features.  
“Do what?”

“I want...” Michael’s newborn confidence seemed to be disappearing as he found himself falling into a near orgasmic moment. “Christ! Brian...”

“What do you want, Mikey?”

Michael’s breathing grew labored, blowing out in bursts. “I wanna...”

“Can you say it?” Brian was finding this absolutely adorable. “You can’t, can you?”

“You don’t even know... oh, God!” Michael shut his eyes and allowed his forehead to fall to Brian’s chest. “... what I’m gonna ask...”

“Say it!” Brian shoved Michael’s head off him, so they could look into each other’s eyes.

“I can’t... breathe...” Michael had been celibate for too long, and masturbation had just been a shallow end on a lonely journey. “Shit! I feel like I’m about... to explode...!”

The mastery of Brian’s hand increased as the trousers were pulled down, the underwear half off and thickening member exposed to the cool air. “But I’m not doing anything out of the ordinary, Mikey.” He enjoyed watching Michael reach his sexual pinnacle. “You’re safe here... you don’t have to hold back for me. You should know, there’s nothing that’s out of my range... in the bedroom... or on the couch... or in the shower...”

“Fuck... you...”

“Michael!” Brian sounded outraged.

“No... I wanna fuck you...” In the midst of his pleasure, Michael tried to hide his embarrassment.

“Oh... well....” Brian smirked as he removed his hand from Michael’s crotch. “That can be arranged.” With swift moves, both Michael’s trousers and Brian’s jeans were pulled off, the underwear following shortly. “Is everything still in your night stand?” Brian went to check for himself. “Hey, there’s lube, but I don’t suggest we use these ancient rubbers. They’ve probably turned into plastic, by now...” When Brian turned back around, Michael had picked the pockets of his pants laying on the floor. “You were THAT sure of yourself?!”

Michael giggled as he threw the condoms off to the side, tearing into one. “No. I took Hunter to his doctor’s appointment. They had a bowl of these on the counter.” As Michael rolled the condom on, he motioned his head towards Brian’s hand. “Is the lube still good?”

Tipping the tube over, Brian zeroed in on an expiration date. “We have... until 2005... is that enough time?” He was getting his body into the position of choice, for rear entry, when Michael grabbed his arm. “You okay?”

“This is... huge...” Michael closed his eyes to the multitude of things that conjured up in their minds.

“That’s what I’m hoping for, Mikey.” Brian patted Michael’s beard, loving the fine texture. He was about to flip over, when Michael still gripped him tightly. “What’s wrong?”

“I need you... to help me through this. I may look like I’m confident, but this is a role I rarely get to play.

Brian understood as he slipped his body down, splitting his legs to encompass Michael’s muscular build in between his thighs. “You want to look in my eyes.”

“Yeah... is that okay?”

“Okay?! Michael, this doesn’t have to be polite and respectful. If you start raising your hand, when you have a question, I’m gonna smack your bubble butt... very hard.” Brian roughly bit at Michael’s mouth. He was more then ready for whatever Michael wanted to do... to him... with him... for him...

Michael situated his pelvis to align with Brian’s. Their dicks met and caught, causing both men to intake a breath at the hot touch. “Christ! We are gonna have a major clean-up after this!”

“God! I hope so.”

“You ready?”

“Of course.” Brian heard the break in his own voice, which blew away any idea that he was brave about the kind of step they were venturing into. He reached up behind him to grab onto the head board.

“What are you doing?” Michael watched the move with laughter in his eyes, the nervous tears surfaced.

“What?” Brian shrugged as he tried to look anywhere but at Michael. “It’s just a precaution. For my head.” He watched Michael move about, quickly to pick up a nearby pillow, with a Captain Astro logo all over it. Brian stared, wide-eyed as the item was tucked between his head and the wood behind him. He began chuckling, caught unawares when Michael decided to enter him. “Oh! Slowly... slowly... slowly... ease in...”

Michael held his hips back, easing slowly into Brian’s hot center. “Christ! Brian, I might not last too long.” He pulled out, in one smooth move, then re-entered on an up stroke. He hit Brian’s prostate at the perfect spot.

Arching his spine, Brian moaned in complete ecstasy. “You feel so big... God! This... is amazing!” When he came back down, he widened his hips, lifting a leg up, slightly. “Go deeper.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! I’m sure!”

Michael reached up to loosen Brian’s hold on the headboard, which was easy. Brian’s body had become pure Jello, underneath him. It was liberating to know he had this kind of control, all this time. “Do you want me to touch you?”

“Please...” The words came out between his clenched teeth.

Brian’s cock was just as beautiful as the man himself. Flawless and mesmerizing. The skin was flushed, right now. Blood from Brian’s body pumping directly into the veins. Pre-cum leaked out as the bliss of orgasms were barely reached, never fulfilled. The size wasn’t spectacular, but it was the myth behind it that carried the weight. As Michael stroked down the length, he counter-acted with a deep thrust. This sent Brian into outer space, while Michael’s own body took over. He had no idea what he was doing as he brought them both to heights, once believed unattainable.

“Faster.” Brian choked out, thrusting up onto Michael’s cock.

“You almost there?”

“Yeah... you...?”

“I was already there.” Michael chose that moment to push into Brian as fast and as frantically as he could. “I’ve just been waiting on you...”

Brian watched as Michael pinned his arms down, to the mattress, munched at his lips and penetrated his body, one final time, catching the orgasm on the downstroke. He could feel the burst of Michael’s come inside the condom. His own ejaculation splattered between them. He shook his head in bewilderment. “Michael... Mike... Mikey... my Mikey.” He couldn’t believe the way his life was turning out.

Michael didn’t pull out. He wanted to stay in Brian... forever. His head went to lay over Brian’s erratically beating heart. “Your Mikey.” Though it sounded like a possessive word, the connotation made Michael’s heart radiate with love. He wanted nothing more, nothing less, then to be Brian’s.

Their breathing was slowing down. Their stomachs were meeting as they eased each other into calmness.

Brian began to swirl his fingers in the tufts of hair at Michael’s nape. He leaned down to place his heated cheek on top of Michael’s head. “Justin and I are over.”

Michael lifted his head, knocking Brian’s jaw. “Sorry. Not because of me, I hope?”

“No... it’s because of me. I love somebody else.”

“Oh... who?” Michael went to set his head back down, drawing patterns on Brian’ perspiring skin.

“Remember me saying that you’ve always had a part of me, that I’ve never been able to give anyone else?”

“Vaguely... but seriously, the sex wasn’t that mind-blowing...”

“Really?! I thought it was.” Brian chuckled along with Michael. He shook the body laying on him to glance up at his face.

Michael’s eyes stared intently at Brian. “What’s wrong?” Brian almost looked near to tears. Reaching up a hand, Michael cupped the strong cheek. “Tell me?”

“I hope... you don’t mind, but I’ve given a little bit of it to your child?”

Michael choked on a sob. He quickly pressed his lips to Brian’s trembling mouth. “Don’t... don’t apologize for that! Never apologize for opening your heart to the unknown. That’s one of the reasons I’m not angry at you anymore. Mel and I have been talking, most of the night.” The tears escaped of their own will, falling upon Brian’s cheeks, meshing with his own. “Taking care of Mel, and our unborn baby... was your way of taking care of me. Loving me beyond what words could ever say. I was stunned to find out what you’d been doing all this time I thought you were back to your careless, wicked ways.” Michael pushed his forehead onto Brian’s “You break my heart with your selfless nature. I know it’s been in you to do... just didn’t know when you’d be ready.”

Their gazes never moved off each other.

“Do you truly NOT care, Michael?”

Michael could secretly read what Brian was asking him. “Mel did mention that you desperately wanted to know.”

“I did. Not because I wanted to favor one sex over the other, but because I knew what it already was... deep in my heart. Knowing hasn’t made me love your child any less. Do you want to know?”

“No... wait... yeah, but...” Michael fought within his own head.

“How ‘bout... I whisper it in your ear.” Brian tucked his head toward Michael’s ears.

“Wait! This is a lot to take in for one night. Let me...” Michael took in a deep breath. “Okay... I think I’m centered... go ahead...” Michael offered his lobe, closing his eyes tightly.

“Michael Charles Novotny, you are the proud Papa of a brand new baby...” Brian pressed his lips into the ear canal, saying the one word he knew would just tear down every wall in Michael’s heart. Feeling the beginning shaking of Michael’s shoulders, as he softly cried his happiness into the available shoulder, Brian encircled his arms, legs and body around Michael. “I’m so fuckin’ proud of you, Mikey... my heart could burst. I promise to love this child... just as much as I love you...”

“Ooo uv mee?!” Michael muttered on Brian’s chest as he was held tightly within Brian’s embrace.

Brian chuckled at Michael’s words, the way they vibrated on his right breast. “Yes... God help me, I do.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah, isn’t it though?”

“Bet I love you more...”

“Bet I love you deeper...”

The constant competition continued on into the late hour of the night, followed by a shower and then a quick snuggle with Gus on Debbie’s bed.

The discussions varied from present to future plans, but there was never a raised voice in anger toward either man. Gus slept contentedly between both his Daddy and Uncle Mike.

Michael held the little boy under his left arm, while Brian allowed his son to snuggle against his arm. They had played a movie, for Gus, on Debbie TV/VCR combo, which continued to play as they softly talked.

Brian sifted his fingers through Gus’ light brown hair. “Think Gus will get jealous?”

“Of the baby?”

“Yeah.”

Michael reached across Gus to press a kiss to Brian’s lips. “Not a chance. How easy was it for you to love your son and my baby?”

Brian slinked down to lay his head on the pillows behind him. “Pretty easy, when I thought about you.”

Michael moved down at the same time, matching his head on the opposite pillow across from Brian’s face. The darkness, and simple light from the TV, gave them some privacy. “See. Now, all we have to do is to never sell him short. He’s just as important in our lives as the baby will be. We have to include him in every aspect of our relationship, except... in the bedroom.”

“No... you don’t need any help there.” Brian tucked a hand under his cheek, just soaking up the sight of Michael next to him. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Loving me, despite knowing me. And never giving up, when everyone else was ready to kick me to the curb.”

“Hey, it’s not my style to kick a man when he’s down. You’ve been stripped of your whole identity. That’s not an easy thing to come back from.” Michael placed a comforting hand on Brian’s forearm. “Besides...” He came over, again, for another kiss. This time it was longer, and wetter. “... you’re mine. And I don’t know anybody else who can *get* you. Know exactly who you are underneath. But see... I’ve seen every side of you... and I like them all. I just have to learn how to conjure them up when I need them.”

“Simple... just ask.”

“Really? That simple?”

“Or maybe... I’ll get so good at thinking before you ask... and I’ll surprise you. Sound better?”

“You’re mental. And tired. Go to sleep.” Michael went to lay his head back down, snuggling with Gus.

“I love you, Mikey.” Brian whispered loudly.

“I love you, too, Brian.”

Both men, bent down to kiss the unsuspecting boy between them.

“Love you, Gus.” They said in unison, watching the little form reorganize his position.

Over the space between them, Brian and Michael entwined their hands, both silently sending out their love to Michael’s unborn child.

Michael could barely whisper the words. “I know... me, too.”

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At the same moment, sitting on Emmett’s lap, in the Novotny backyard, Melanie Marcus, felt a sharp jab to her abdomen. She didn’t know why, but she glanced up to the house, wondering what Brian and Michael were up to. She blushed at the ideas in her head.

“Oh, honey... look...” Emmett tucked his head right in the crook of Melanie’s shoulder. His index finger pointed to the clear night sky over Pittsburgh. “A falling star! Quick... make a wish.”

Both of them did just that, holding on to one another, for dear life.

 **~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~THE END**


End file.
